Date: 4/21/2017

Title: COLLUSION AND A CHANGE OF HEART – Part 2

By Bryan Arzani

When dealing with collusive behavior, both parties must be confronted. When talking with the two parties involved, a leader will see the cyclical pattern. It’s important to get the others to see this, also. The behavior of one person provokes a response from the other person. Doesn’t matter what it is. It just pushed that other person’s buttons.

This response that is triggered by the person results in behavior from the other…behavior that the first person complains about. Each time there is a new interaction (remember, we are running around in a circle), the cycle intensifies. The ante is upped, so to speak.

We judge ourselves by our intent. We judge others by their behavior. Our mind functions to be right. So, if we proclaim that Bob’s behavior means “such and such” to us, we will find evidence to back up our viewpoint. Each person is convinced that if he/she changed his/her behavior, the behavior of the other would get worse.

Dialogue around the behaviors (of both people) needs to be held. The absence of trust needs to be put in the middle of the room….it is the proverbial elephant. The conversation needs to root out the cause of the mistrust. Usually, it is due to a faulty paradigm and perception that was continually believed to be true. Once this is admitted, the dialogue can turn to being vulnerable with each other and demonstrating trust.

This involves acknowledging that the other person (either one) is right, because he/she is right. This isn’t about data, but rather about your heart being right toward other people. In other words, the best intent was there all the time.

To learn more about how to practice this understanding, contact Results Group, LLC at www.ResultsGroupLLC.com or 515-330-2866.