Date: 4/27/2015

Title: CONFLICT RESOLUTION – Part 2

By: Bryan Arzani

All right. We know that unresolved conflict is not healthy. We know conflict resolution is the preference. Yet, we may still struggle with being successful when attempting to resolve conflict.

Self-awareness is very important. How are we perceiving the situation? How do we behave when in a conflictual situation? Our perceptions drive our feelings, which lead to our behavior. Our perceptions and history drive us into a choice of style for conflict management. With this understanding, we can make a choice to use a style (perhaps it is different from our “go to” style) that will be more effective.

What are the styles of conflict management? There are five styles. No one way is always best. All methods are effective, if applied to the appropriate situation and used in a balanced way. But, we often rely on one or two methods out of habit. We may use the same method (even when it’s not effective) because of our background, communication skills, cultural norms, or current environment.

In situations, we demonstrate advocacy and empathy. Advocacy is concern for self. Empathy is concern for others. Both operate on a continuum. The five conflict management styles fall at different points on the continuums of advocacy and empathy. Choice of which style to use successfully, depends on the situation.

The five styles of conflict management are avoid, accommodate, compromise, dominate (compete), and dialogue (collaborate). Each style leads to different behavior.

Avoidance can be a choice for conflict management. When choosing this style, the goal may be to stay out of trouble, escape confrontation, or buy time. This style is low on concern for self and low on concern for others. Behaviors exhibited would be statements of deference, quick agreement, or ignoring issues.

Accommodation style is low on concern for self and high on concern for others. When choosing to use this style, a person may be disregarding one’s own needs and putting the needs of others first. The goal is to yield. Behaviors exhibited would be statements geared to determining what the other party wants and quick agreement.

Compromise style is demonstrated through behaviors of seeking incremental progress and small wins. The goal is to find a middle ground. This style is moderate on concern for self and moderate on concern for others.

Dominance (compete) style is high on concern for self and low on concern for others. The goal is to win. Behaviors demonstrated when using this style would be debating, using rank, standing one’s ground regardless of the situation.

Dialogue (collaborate) style is demonstrated through behaviors of listening, empathizing, and analyzing other’s ideas. The goal is to find a “win-win” situation. This style is high on concern for self and high on concern for others.

When determining which style to use, we need to be aware of our perceptions and feelings about the situation. We need to be aware of our history of behaviors when being in conflict. Choosing the style depends on the situation. No one style is always correct. In fact, overuse and underuse of the styles can occur for a variety of reasons and can hinder your successful resolution of conflict.

To learn more about how to practice this understanding, contact Results Group, LLC at www.ResultsGroupLLC.com or 515-330-2866.